Tag Archives: prayer

Praying for a miracle.

So, I wanted to hear God, and this is all that He’ll say thus far:

Be still.
I am God.
I am always faithful.

Be still.I am God.Wait.I am always faithful.

All right Papa God. I’m waiting… without trying to even figure out what I’m waiting for. Just waiting for you to do what you will.


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Filed under Camp Peace

Can you hear me?


In the words of Michael Tait:

God can You hear me?
I need You here tonight
I’m tired of pretending that everything’s alright
And I know, I know that You hold tomorrow
But I need You here tonight

I want to feel

I need something real
I want to go closer to You
I lay down my will…

…Say won’t You say that
You’ll carry me
Carry me through the storm
Won’t You stay
Till the morning comes
Morning comes
Just stay

I know God can hear me. Now I want to hear from Him. I want to know how this makes Him feel. I want my heart to match with His.

Does His heart break?

I wonder.

Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.

They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.

– Lamentations 3:22-23

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If you gotta start somewhere…

When asked about influential Christians in my life I would have to list Toby Mckeehan. Yes, a Christian hip hop artist. You can laugh at me if you want but it’s truth.

Ever since the glorious days of Dc Talk, God has been talking to me through Toby Mac’s music. He’s taught me lessons. He’s given words I’ve needed to help a friend straight from the lips of Toby Mac… Or from my speakers, depends how you decide to look at it. Once though, God DID talk to me straight from the lips of Toby Mac. Toby didn’t know it but he spoke right into my heart with some words he said to the crowd at a concert in Cleveland. (Another time Toby told me that he liked my shirt… But that was just him talking, not God. Still kind of cool?)

Well I heard this song of his on the radio today. Not the first time I heard it, but the first time it hit me, and the first time I needed to share it. You may have heard it, but maybe it hasn’t hit you yet. It’s called City on Our Knees:

If you gotta start somewhere why not here?
If you gotta start sometime why not now?

If we gotta start somewhere I say here.
If we gotta start sometime I say now.

Through the fog there is hope in the distance
From cathedrals to third world missions
Love will fall to the earth like a crashing wave

Tonight’s the night
For the sinners and the saints
Two worlds collide in a beautiful display
It’s all love tonight
When we step across the line
We can sail across the sea
To a city with one King
A city on our knees

Really. What are we waiting for? Are we trying to figure out where to start?

We get on our knees.

You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden.

-Matthew 5:14

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Filed under Lost in Thought

More than I could have imagined.

It went off without a hitch.

I never thought I’d be able to say that… But I did quote the Bible yesterday on the fact that God can do immeasurably more than I can imagine. He had shown me in His Word, now He has shown me in my life. I never could have imagined that this night could have worked out so well.

It wasn’t as if we had everything perfectly managed and set out. When the first bus arrived we were in a far from ready. We were running around instructing volunteers on the different stations around our makeshift Bethlehem. Somehow it all worked out. I ended up manning a station I hadn’t expected to – but it meant that I got to help my kids experience something of Bethlehem and talk to a bunch of other kids I hadn’t seen in awhile. It was so much fun.

I was in charge of our miniature production of the Nativity story.

At a trumpet call the kids walked into the Inn and the Innkeeper greeted them. Mary and Joseph walked in late and found that the Inn was full, they had to stay in the barn. We all ate together in our Bethlehem Inn. The Innkeeper brought food out to the barn for Mary and Joseph.

When the kids were finished and getting restless another trumpet sounded. Mary was holding the baby Jesus and three shepherds ran up too see the new born baby. Then they came to us, the people of Bethlehem, and told us about their night. That the Christ child was born.

Just as the sky was filled with Angels to announce the Messiah’s birth, I’m sure that room was filled with His Angels. Guarding our children. Chasing off the enemy who would like to spread his lies in their hearts. Making room in their hearts for Truth.

The volunteers were amazing. The actors were AMAZING. The kids are always amazing.

Thank you so much to those of you who were praying for us. I would say that God answered your prayers.

It was an amazing night.

I’m sitting here in complete awe at the things our God can do.



Filed under Urban Promise

A Christmas Party.

Three of my closest friend and I are in charge of the Urban Promise Christmas party this year.

With a budget of nothing and less time then expected we’ve been working towards our goal to show our kids that Christ is the reason to celebrate.

I’m so grateful for the fact that our God is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine.

If you think of us tomorrow, particularly from 5:30pm-7:00pm please lift us in prayer! Pray for our kids that God will work in their hearts. Pray for our leaders and volunteers that they’ll be blessed by this night. Pray for the four of us – that we’ll do our best and point to Him.

There must be more than this, O breath of God come breathe within, There must be more than this, Spirit of God we wait for You.

Fill us anew we pray.

Consuming fire fan into flame, A passion for Your Name, Spirit of God fall in this place, Lord have Your way,

Lord have Your way with us.

( Consuming Fire – Tim Hughes)

“If we buy a poo bag can we have a live donkey? … Please?”

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Pray for those who persecute you.

But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 

-Matthew 5:44



I haven’t often had trouble with loving others. By God’s grace I just tend to love people. When my apartment was broken into I wasn’t angry. I was able to think of the people who broke in as people, broken people. Why would I be angry, I’m here to serve the broken aren’t I? It saddens me when people make wrong choices, but it doesn’t change the fact that my God loves them like crazy. I want to love with His love.

So I guess this is why God has been working so hard to break up the bitterness I’ve been feeling towards another downtown community.

It started in my apartment sitting around with the Jane and Finch interns and one of the Victory street leaders, Prophet. Prophet was pointing out all of the little ‘hoods’ that surround us. He said that Jane and Finch isn’t really the most dangerous place in Toronto. There are just so many little ‘hoods that are all labelled “Jane and Finch” that it just looks like everything is going on here. He then told us which neighbourhood he thinks to be the worst. I’d never heard of it so I wrote the name down in my notebook planning to look it up later.

The next day David, an intern who works with the Youth program, told me about a shooting that had taken place in our community.

When I was home for Thanksgiving I made Ronnie open his letter from Urban Promise so I could see it, our executive director explained what happened in that letter as told by one of our youth: “She explained how young men from another community came into the community and smeared mud on the mural of a young man they had murdered a couple years prior. These youths then proceeded to ‘shoot up’ the community and a young man from the block was now in the hospital as a result of the shooting, fighting for his life.”

Well when David told me the name of the rival community it gave me chills. I’ll give you a hint: its name was written in my notebook.

He told me that that was the reason that the kids hadn’t been hanging around outside as they usually would be. They were scared, or at least their parents were. I thought of how empty the community had been, and how much I’d missed the sounds of children at play. It gave me an awful feeling.

A few days later I got a call from the intern director giving instructions about the activity we would be doing that night. We’d be walking around downtown with a group from the Salvation Army, learning about the things that go on in the streets of Toronto.

He told me which community it was by. My mind went back to that notebook and I told him, “I don’t like that name much right now.” He gave me a lecture starting with “Now Rumour,” and then going on to tell me that it wasn’t fair to dislike these people just because they’d wronged us, it wasn’t a one sided fight.

The next night I found myself with a group that loved this community just as much as I love mine. Together we walked along stopping and praying for this community. I didn’t feel great about it, there was a mixture of feelings inside of me. I understood that these people were broken just like those I serve, but my heart was still heavy with the idea of my kids being afraid in their homes. I thanked God for bringing me to a place where I could pray for these people. Throughout the night I saw a lot of sad things and prayed for a lot of broken people. I realized that I need to pray for my big brother more. I learned a lot. My heart broke a little.

Ever since God’s been causing this community to show up everywhere I look, from when I’m at an art exhibit with friends to when I make Ronnie open his Urban Promise letter for me. I guess it’s not enough to pray for my community, this whole city needs healing.

So pray for healing in Toronto. Pray for healing in my community. Pray for healing inside of me.

What an awesome God we have.

“I give you peace, the kind of peace that only I can give. It isn’t like the peace that this world can give. So don’t be worried or afraid.”

– John 14:27


Filed under Lost in Thought

A Letter,

God showed me something on the Muskoka retreat and even though the message was to me I’d like to share it with you.  I’ll tell you as if it was a letter.  Not because God spoke to me with specific words, but because that’s the easiest way I can think of to communicate the things He wrote on my heart.

My dearest Ruthmary,

I see the ways you’re hurting and as always I see a way to bring good from this.

You miss your friend. You went from seeing her everyday to writing her messages on the internet every few days. You went from a deep and intimate relationship to one that requires much work in order to keep it alive.  You miss hearing about her daily life and sharing your daily life with her. You miss her quirks. Her strength. Her presence.

Now I’ll ask you to recall that time in our relationship where you let your shame separate you from me. I can see the pang of guilt swelling up as you think of it – and I tell you to send it away. Here in the sadness of missing your friend I would like to reveal a bit of my heart to you. So remember that time for a moment. You know I was there with you,  for I will never leave you. Still although we were together you felt as if we were apart. Our conversations were few and far between. You allowed the shame you felt to make you feel as if I were oceans away from you. My child,  through the sacrifice of my son it is your sins that were oceans away from you. I missed you. I missed your praises as you walked to the bus stop in the morning. I missed hearing about your days, and your struggles. I missed your relying on my strength. I missed the days you sought to be in my presence.

And I rejoiced the day that you realized that my GRACE pours down on you like rain and only I can get you through.

Now I’d like to go a little further here. Let’s look at another relationship of yours.  A friend you’re blessed to still see daily. I noticed the other day that you sent her a message, it said ‘I miss you.’ Now you’d only been away from her a few hours but of course I understand. You’d both been lost in your busy schedules and it had been far too long since you had sat down and really talked to each other.

I love it when you thank me for each morning, and pray for the children you walk by in your community. I love that you talk to me throughout your day. I love that you thank me and make requests of me. I love that you ask me for direction. These are important, I’m always there and I always listen. But I miss you.

You need to set aside time to talk to me.

I want you to pour out your heart to me. I want you to go deeper when you pray for others, let my spirit guide you and make requests through Him. I want to spend time with you. Most importantly I want you to listen to me. Pray without ceasing – but also talk to me in a quiet place where you can stop and you can listen to what I am telling you.

Remember what I’ve told you through Jeremiah:
You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

Love from,
Your Father, your Friend, the one and only true God.

I thank Him for creating us in His image so that we can see glimpses of Him through each other and in parts of ourselves.

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Filed under Lost in Thought