God showed me something on the Muskoka retreat and even though the message was to me I’d like to share it with you. I’ll tell you as if it was a letter. Not because God spoke to me with specific words, but because that’s the easiest way I can think of to communicate the things He wrote on my heart.
My dearest Ruthmary,
I see the ways you’re hurting and as always I see a way to bring good from this.
You miss your friend. You went from seeing her everyday to writing her messages on the internet every few days. You went from a deep and intimate relationship to one that requires much work in order to keep it alive. You miss hearing about her daily life and sharing your daily life with her. You miss her quirks. Her strength. Her presence.
Now I’ll ask you to recall that time in our relationship where you let your shame separate you from me. I can see the pang of guilt swelling up as you think of it – and I tell you to send it away. Here in the sadness of missing your friend I would like to reveal a bit of my heart to you. So remember that time for a moment. You know I was there with you, for I will never leave you. Still although we were together you felt as if we were apart. Our conversations were few and far between. You allowed the shame you felt to make you feel as if I were oceans away from you. My child, through the sacrifice of my son it is your sins that were oceans away from you. I missed you. I missed your praises as you walked to the bus stop in the morning. I missed hearing about your days, and your struggles. I missed your relying on my strength. I missed the days you sought to be in my presence.
And I rejoiced the day that you realized that my GRACE pours down on you like rain and only I can get you through.
Now I’d like to go a little further here. Let’s look at another relationship of yours. A friend you’re blessed to still see daily. I noticed the other day that you sent her a message, it said ‘I miss you.’ Now you’d only been away from her a few hours but of course I understand. You’d both been lost in your busy schedules and it had been far too long since you had sat down and really talked to each other.
I love it when you thank me for each morning, and pray for the children you walk by in your community. I love that you talk to me throughout your day. I love that you thank me and make requests of me. I love that you ask me for direction. These are important, I’m always there and I always listen. But I miss you.
You need to set aside time to talk to me.
I want you to pour out your heart to me. I want you to go deeper when you pray for others, let my spirit guide you and make requests through Him. I want to spend time with you. Most importantly I want you to listen to me. Pray without ceasing – but also talk to me in a quiet place where you can stop and you can listen to what I am telling you.
Remember what I’ve told you through Jeremiah:
You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.
Your Father, your Friend, the one and only true God.
I thank Him for creating us in His image so that we can see glimpses of Him through each other and in parts of ourselves.