I was sitting reading earlier when my dad asked if I had a recycling bin in my room. It’s recycle night. I ran over to my room to retrieve the bin and heard music from Phil’s room above mine. I stopped, wondering what adolescent junk he might be listening to, I underestimated this adolescent. The song was ‘The Motions’ by Matthew West, I nodded in approval and continued with my recycling.

Later I caught myself humming the song to myself so I decided to play it.

I don’t wanna go through the motions,
I don’t wanna go one more day,
Without your all consuming passion inside of me…

As I stood and listened I had a strange feeling. In Toronto when I heard that song I could smile, give an ‘Amen!’ and continue about my business. When I was in Toronto if someone told me they didn’t know where to serve God I would have told them, “Oh, serve Him everywhere and in everything of course!” It seemed obvious there, as I woke up in the morning and knew much of His call on my day. I knew the people I was called to serve. The children and their families knew that I did what I did because I love Jesus and I loved them. That made it easy.

I thought of the line: “Without your all consuming passion inside of me” And my mind wandered to another thing that’s been confusing me.

On the last day that I was in Toronto I went to Toronto Alliance Church. It’d been my home away from home, or church away from.. my home church rather. It was Pentecost Sunday and Pastor Bill spoke on being filled with the Holy Spirit. At the end the congregation prayed for each other and sang: “Jesus O Jesus, come and fill your lambs”. It was a beautiful service.

When I got home I was babysitting my niece and my sister told me to read her book, “Forgotten God” by Francis Chan. A book about the Holy Spirit. I read it and returned quickly as she’d been reading it.

Then there was the second Sunday after I was home, the first where my pastor had spoken since my return. There in my small town Baptist church my pastor spoke about the Holy Spirit, even about being filled by the Spirit. When the sermon had ended we sang our closing hymn and tears streamed down my face: “Jesus O Jesus, come and fill your lambs”

God is so in control, and so capable of driving His point home.
Sometimes I think I miss the application part of His lessons though.

Have I changed since God brought this all to my attention? Am I more Spirit-filled? More aware of His guidance? His presence? I’m not sure.

I am however quite sure that He won’t stop teaching what He needs me to know any time soon.

Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.

– John 15:4


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