(Erin’s second ‘guest blog’, see her first here.)
At approximately 11:27 pm, I had an urgent need to leave. A pressure, if you will. Half of everything in me screamed “RUN”, while the other more polite half stated that I should keep it bottled and sit like a statue while the inside died a little.
Being me, I went with the first half… I quickly changed from my pj’s, grabbed my 8-month old puppy, Georgia, and was out the door in 2 minutes flat.
You know when there’s just so much in your head that there’s almost nothing left? There are no real words, only feelings, simple statements like “I can’t..” and random noises that escape your lips every once in awhile. Your head’s pounding, your heart’s beating, but most everything else is numb…
So I ran… all the way down Fenwick Court. My dumb dog wanted her collar off, so she insisted on stopping on every 10 seconds to roll on lawns trying to release herself so I reluctantly gave up on the running part.
You have to understand… One would barely call this animal ‘a puppy.’ She is a Bull mastiff. She is 90 pounds of muscle at 8 months, and her head is already larger than mine…
So often, I’d need to stop give the command “Heel!” and keep her walking beside me. It’s a straight and wide sidewalk, so one would think that “heeling” would not be difficult. Think again.
One blade of blowing grass is a distraction and an invitation to “come sniff me!” One leaf falling from a tree says “look at me!” And don’t even get me started on those big green electricity boxes.
My annoyance level was escalating as the overgrown puppy started ‘using the facilities’ extremely too close to my neighbours’ front porch.
It was in that moment that the Holy Spirit whispered to my soul “This is your ‘walk’ with God…”
(Read the beginning again, with this in mind.)
The world fell away.
Me and Georgia walking.. it was a metaphor for myself.
Me as her master, and her as my follower. I was leading her… I want the best for her, always. That’s why she is on a leash. She needs to be controlled. The rules, all the commands, the restraints, they are for her benefit. If they were not there, she’d run into the road and get hit by a car. When I tell her “heel”, she has a choice. She knows what “heel” means. She’s been trained since 8 weeks that “heel” means ‘walk beside me, don’t lag, and don’t rush ahead-just walk.’ She can choose to listen and to obey, or she can choose to stop on the boulevard and sniff the distraction. It’s going to be harder for her because I will yank her back beside me and that can be painful. It means we walk more slowly, we don’t walk as far as I’d originally hoped…
The distractions on the boulevards aren’t always nice either. Sometimes, they’re rose bushes-those have thorns which then become embedded in her fur. I find them later, and rip them out. It’s painful, but it’s a consequence, and pulling it out is much better than leaving it there to fester.
I often have ‘treats’ (or blessings 😉 ) in my pocket. So when she’s walking beside me, we’re going at a nice pace, I might stop to give her a treat.
Sometimes she walks just ahead of me. I don’t mind as long as she’s not pulling. When she pulls, I know she thinks she’s in control, so I yank her back beside me.
A psalm of David.
1 Keep me safe, O God,
for I have come to you for refuge.
2 I said to the Lord, “You are my Master!
Every good thing I have comes from you.”
3 The godly people in the land
are my true heroes!
I take pleasure in them!
4 Troubles multiply for those who chase after other gods.
I will not take part in their sacrifices of blood
or even speak the names of their gods.
5 Lord, you alone are my inheritance, my cup of blessing.
You guard all that is mine.
6 The land you have given me is a pleasant land.
What a wonderful inheritance!
7 I will bless the Lord who guides me;
even at night my heart instructs me.
8 I know the Lord is always with me.
I will not be shaken, for he is right beside me.
9 No wonder my heart is glad, and I rejoice.
My body rests in safety.
10 For you will not leave my soul among the dead
or allow your holy one to rot in the grave.
11 You will show me the way of life,
granting me the joy of your presence
and the pleasures of living with you forever.
🙂 God is good, and I trust Him.